Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
