Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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