I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Operation Purity has been aborted
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
you will always have a special place in my vag
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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