just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
