dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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