Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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