I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
