Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I could have mohawked her pubes.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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