Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
