no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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