She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
