omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
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