Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
