I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
