he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
