We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
