I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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