you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
