96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
