I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
