Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize