guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
