Are we in a gay sports bar?
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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