Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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