Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
