I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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