dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
