Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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