It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize