Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
