Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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