Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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