idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
