his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
