Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
