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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl

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• (914): View more from New York

  My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship

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• (845): View more from New York

  I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now

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• (914): View more from New York

  who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?

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