Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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