it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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