Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
