Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
