Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i believe in u and ur pee
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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