i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
