Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
