I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Who did Billy Mays play for?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Is it penis luge time yet?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
