I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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