It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
