What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
