This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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