why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
