hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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