You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's great music for shaving your balls
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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