There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
