I bet he comes in French.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
