I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
