shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
