we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
