the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
