she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
