absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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