real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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