you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
